A Path of Least Resistance
Ever since I made the decision to discontinue my dietetic internship, I have been overcome with a rush of various emotions- fear and failure but also encouragement and strength. I feel as though the final stitch connecting me to my former self has been clipped. I am now wandering through space and desperate to make ends meet.
I find myself in a state of complete authenticity. I have no external distractions. Throughout my spiritual awakening, I was constantly consumed by the abundance of information available online, and the questions I posed on my own were enough to keep me busy. I had finally pierced the veil, I thought. I was obsessed with learning it all. It was a coming home, in a sense. I will forever now know that I am an eternal spirit in a temporary physical body having an Earthly experience. I have probably been here a bunch more times (though I have no idea why I keep coming back!), but I have also been on other planets, in other dimensions, in other timelines, realities, universes, you name it. So have you, and so have we all.
This internal knowing is not something that can be explained or laid out in fundamental terms. But I know it as clearly as the sky is blue and my name is Samantha. I cannot unknow the the reality of which I now perceive. I fell down the rabbit hole. I can talk on end about God/Source, the universe, the current awakening process, goddesses and mermaids. But, can I talk about my spirit? My innate spirit which chose to program a soul and incarnate into a physical body on Earth? In essence, I view myself as an onion. It is not that I am trying to improve or change myself. Rather, I am pulling back the metaphorical layers back to my true essence, my internal child.
As a baby, we come into this world full of awe, rid of expectations, and just wanting to give and receive unconditional love. The only reason we started acting out as a child was ultimately to gain attention as we become less and less dependent on our mother. This may be our first experience with polarity, and from there, the ego is born. If this is the case, go back to that inner child and validate his/her feelings. Comfort yourself and validate your feelings. For it is through resistence that polarity is born, and through surrendering that we can become whole.
My life has seemed like an emotional Kingda Ka these past few days, but I have to remind myself that it has only been a few days. I have been craving for so long the time to just be in my own presence without much or any personal responsibility. It was a calling I felt for a while, and now it is here and something to be embraced and thankful for. I heard recently on MaNithyaSudevi's YouTube channel that when something breaks whether a job is lossed, a relationship ended, or an actual piece of jewelry breaking, it is because you are making room for something even better than you even imagined. I must devote myself to this possibility and enjoy the ride. I get to experience an array of emotions and feelings, and for that, I am grateful. I am going to try to go with the experience on the path of least resistence, and we'll see where my journey takes me.
XOXO,
Samantha
MaNithyaSudevi's channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCY6_zUajG2jsIfghOB_YNkA
