Go In the Way of Your Fear
Originally written on October 27, 2015
You have probably heard it said before. Follow your fear. I am happy to share a profound milestone I experienced today in reference to this value. I myself was not sure whether I believed such a phrase, and I instinctively judged it to mean I had to go out and do big (read: successful) things or something crazy such as jump off a building. I did not realize the subtlety of its true meaning, until now.
I have started a new routine. I go for nature walks along the neighborhood. I started the routine at my mother’s house and continue it at my father’s new house, where I have been recently staying. Earlier today, I was going for my leisurely stroll. I slipped into a meditative state while inhaling the nature and beautiful sights around me. I gazed up at the sky: the most beautiful bright blue. There was not a cloud to be seen. I was surrounded by trees all of sorts with all their assorted colored leaves: yellows, tangerines, greens of all variety, and a lustrous velvet red. I soaked up the nature around me. Gratitude.
I found myself at a crossroads in my walk. I was in undiscovered territory in my new neighborhood. Do I turn around and go the sure way back home? Or do I turn left, thinking I know my way back from there? At first, I had a slight feeling of fear at the thought of turning left. “I should just do the easy thing and turn around,” I first thought. But then, a more empowering thought emerged: go left. Go in the way of my fear. This is what that illustrious phrase means. And so I did. I faced my fear. Subtle yet impactful.
And so I walked, until suddenly, I realized I was on a main road. I kept to the left off the road as cars whipped passed me. It was empowering. This is what life is all about. I knew I was safe, and so I bathed in the experience. What a rush.
A similar theme arose this morning. I cut two pieces of strawberry rhubarb pie. One looked slightly more decadent, filling oozing out the sides. The other slice was a perfectly nice and perfectly cut piece. It was beautiful in its own right, I thought, and so I chose to eat that slice that morning. For whatever reason, I felt inspired to change it up. Take the choice less chosen. I am going to sit with this theme in my ongoing life, question the norms and the story I have created for myself. If we stick within our own paradigms, how do we grow?
I believe it is so that growth lies at the boundaries of our comfort zone. As mentioned in Lisa Gawlas’s blog, fear is the densest of the vibrations. It does not actually exist outside of these bodies. Our brain is what serves to help us to experience its vibration. Fear is merely an optical illusion. It may seem “dark” and “negative” – but only in these meat shells we call bodies. The purpose being to experience it and expand. Experience your fear. Chase it, and seize it. Just how far will you take it?
And so in the name of changing it up, I added a nightly stroll to my day. Normally, I take my walks in the afternoon. The sun is shining, the skies are clear, and the rainbow colored spectrum of leaves are falling from their trees. For the first time since starting this new walking routine, I took a walk in the moonlight. And it just so happened to be the night before the Supermoon, so the moon was a sight to be seen. It shined so bright it appeared to have rings like Saturn. In the daytime, I still feel the energies of the people around me as I walk by their homes. The roads are active, and the neighbors are out in their yards. I bathe in the experience and soak up the sun’s rays, yet I am not secluded. In the moonlight, I find it easier for me to feel the seclusion I am longing for. In the dark, I feel only my energy and that of the night sky. The outside world cannot hurt me. I am alone, at least by a certain standard.
I experienced something new. I love the contrast of the daytime energy versus the energy of the nighttime. It is another example of duality. Dark versus light. The sun versus the moon. The seen versus the unseen. Now, I look forward to adding this nightly walk to my regular routine. A walk in the sunshine and a walk in the moonlight: two opportunities for meditation as I get the endorphins going and experience this duality. I can clear my head all while having realizations. They are feel good opportunities.
So I dare you: face your fear. Try something new. Turn left when you usually turn right. We get ourselves stuck in this self-inflicted routine that we fail to see the beauty of doing something new. Maybe there are no better decisions, there are just decisions. Instead, maybe the value lies within the decision you take. The more different moves you make, the more you can experience and grow. We are all on this Earth together. Why not let it be our playground?
