A Reignited Flame
Originally written on October 29, 2015
Over the past week and upcoming week, I have had the “misfortune” of staying at my father’s new home in solidarity. What do I mean by this? Well, my dad does not want me to drive until we get my timing belt replaced on Tuesday. Also, since the house is so new, the painters basically live here with me, and there is neither cable nor internet. I view it as a much welcomed blessing. I can borrow my father’s car when needed, i.e. to go to work, get groceries. In the meanwhile, there is much to keep myself occupied with at my gorgeous new home. My room is my personal paradise. So fit for me and truly a blessing from the universe. It is painted a pale blue, the supposed color of Christ Consciousness. Jesus, who is a model for Christ Consciousness, is perhaps my truest inspiration.
My curtains are big and bold, with swirling colors of pale sorbet: violet, coral, blues, and teals. I have a new piece of furniture, an extra piece given to me by my dad. Inside I hold my text books and records, but the top just so happens to be the perfect display for all my crystals, oils, and other blessed items. As a most precious gift, my dad also just gave me an extra record player he owned, a beautiful, old-fashioned looking teal player with its own stand on four peg legs. If I could design my dream room, this would be it.
I truly feel blessed in this new paradise. I also get to be around my soulmate, my dog Leo. I truly love the little guy! I feel blessed to have him in my life, but I know I am a blessing to him as well. I know I can be the figure who truly looks out for him and “mother’s” him. Spoil him? Maybe, but my family and this home is all he’s got, so I’d like to make it as comfortable for him as possible.
So, what have I been spending my blessed free time on? Well, I must admit at first I spent more than my share time on Star Wars reruns. I discovered the Holy Grail in my brother’s (who’s out at college) room: all six Star Wars DVDs. I do not have cable, but I do have my old MacBook to serve as a DVD player.
Besides that, well I mended ties with an old friend: fitness. I used to be a stereotypical fitchick: in the gym six days a week, in svelte shape with an obsession for fitness. I used to suffer from an eating disorder, and so I believe fitness as well as studying nutrition (still to this day) is how I refocused that energy. Over time that peak of the mountain with fitness eventually took a slow and steady decline, at first to working out five days a week, then three to four days a week. I would say that about two years later, October of 2014, I stopped going to the gym altogether. Over the last summer, I spent most of my time outside, in nature, meditating, reading, you name it. Eventually, I started outdoor yoga and gymnastics. I was still far from being a “fitchick” though. At this newfound retreat at my father’s home, I found myself going for walks around the new neighborhood, a routine I had first started at my mother’s home. At first, I went for one walk a day, then two, then three. I added in yoga and lunges throughout the walk. Today, I ran my whole way home, even up a hill. This is igniting this flame within me that I have not felt since I was that girl you would find every day in the gym. This time though, all I need are my sneakers and the outdoors.
Yesterday, it rained, and not the cleansing, crisp rain I want to go run around in. It was the dark, muggy, and goopy rain you want to avoid. So I kept indoors. I remembered seeing some weights in my brother’s room, so I trekked down to go see what I could do with them. I picked up the 8 pound hand weights to keep in my room. (Thanks Joey!!) Also, I spotted a big bouncy exercise ball. I knew I could do so much with it, so I brought it up as well. I ended up doing a really intense session of a combination of weight lifting, weighted yoga, weighted leg exercises, and core exercises. It was awesome!
What started off as a walk through nature has turned into a quest for that clarity I experience during these activities. I am pushing the boundaries whenever I see the chance, which may seem small to some or big to others, but to me, it feels just right. It is this clarity that allows the creative stream of consciousness to flow through and receive the words for the blog. We are creative, and we are powerful.
Namaste
Samantha
